Being Right the Wrong Way

Does it bother you when you hear someone shares something untrue or at least partially untrue? Do you feel the need to correct these wrongs? When you are in a disagreement, especially with those closest to you, do you find yourself fighting to prove you’re right?

The real question to ask is, “Is being right the most important thing in this moment?”

Most of us have a sense of justice. The stronger that sense is, the more at risk we are of fighting to win the argument while losing the relationship. Over the decades of working with people who feel the right to prove their point until others concede, don’t recognize the cost of this belief and the behaviors that follow.

Everyone deserves respect, even if we disagree with them. Others are allowed to have their own opinion. God gave us this free-will. It’s kind of crazy since we often times misuse it. I’ve had men tell me that while arguing with their wife, they realized she was right, but he couldn’t let her win. He continued the fight until she gave in. Maybe he felt like admitting she was right and he was wrong would make him look weak. In reality, others respect people for being accountable and humble.

Let’s say you are right; in whatever conversation or argument you are having. Is being right at the expense of losing relationship worth it? Consider the man I just mentioned. What did he lose by ‘winning’ the argument? I believe he lost respect, relationship, and an opportunity to grow personally and relationally.

If you choose to use your free-will to prove you are right (at least in your own mind), without considering the cost, you may end up spending the rest of your life being right but alone. That’s a sad outcome.

We all could do better by being quick to listen and slow to speak. While listening, consider the value of the other person and their feelings and the cost to disregarding their opinion. Relationship trumps the need to prove we are right... most of the time.